Study Guides for ID Groups

Meditations for Study Groups

The following are a selection of meditations that speak to the heart of the Christian spirituality that Imago Dei seeks to encourage. These are offered as an aid to those who are perhaps new to the emphasis of spiritual theology. They will also be helpful for those who wish to simply be reminded of their heart’s most profound desire—to live intimately with God.

If you are presently meeting in a small group, these meditations might serve to deepen your fellowship around these themes. You can select whichever ones seems suitable for your group at the time and copy them to print. The questions at the end of each meditation are given as springboards for discussion. Do feel free to edit these questions or to add your own as they apply to your group.

If you are not presently meeting in a group, perhaps these might be an encouragement for you to gather with others to explore the mysteries of our relationship with God. These questions, of course, can also be used for personal meditation on these topics.

MEDITATIONS AND QUESTIONS ON THE SPIRITUAL LIFE

1. “Giving You All to God”

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God–this is your spiritual act of worship.

Romans 12:1

During prayer I found myself asking the Lord, “What is best for me to be doing when I pray? What is most profitable to spiritual growth?” I was reminded of Paul’s instructions that our most complete offering is to present ourselves as “living sacrifices.” If my desire is that God dwell more fully in me, this seems like a reasonable first step. It’s the only way I can ever hope to claim the identity that Paul had for himself when he wrote: “it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.” (Gal. 2:20)

Contemplative prayer is an offering whereby we place ourselves on the altar of spiritual formation and let God create in us whatever is needed. We sacrifice our right to self-will and determination in deference to the Lord’s will and determination. As a living sacrifice my prayer is simply to present myself daily to the Holy Spirit. Once I put my life on this altar, it is no longer mine but His, to do with as He pleases.

According to Paul, God recognizes such a life of self-offering as “holy and pleasing.” This was the relationship with the Father that Jesus modeled while He was on earth, and which He calls us to imitate in our relationship with Him. As we continually offer our lives as a sacrifice to God, we will surely grow in the experience of Christ, who lives in us.

Questions:

What does it mean for us to be a “living sacrifice” to God during our prayers? What is required of us for this? What is not required of us?

What conditions in our inner life would be necessary for us to be able to say, as Paul does, “the life I live is not my own, it is Christ who lives in me”? (Gal. 2:20)

The meditation states: “Once I put my life on this altar (of prayer), it is no longer mine but His, to do with as He pleases.” How is this true in our prayer experience? What are some of the ways that we “take back” our lives after having offered them to God in prayer?

Prayer: Consider the “holy and pleasing” sacrifice that submissiveness in your prayer represents to God. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you a sincere desire to present yourself more and more to God in this way.

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2. “Embracing Poverty as Blessed by God”

Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 5:3

In the Dark Night of the Soul, St. John of the Cross encourages us to “make perfect the inner poverty of spirit.” St. John teaches that, as we approach God in our journey, we inevitably enter a realm of mystery where we recognize that we are no longer in a position to lay down the terms and conditions of the relationship. In order to progress in the spiritual life we must lose our sense of mastery and control over it, our sense of being able to deal with God on our own terms. In so doing, we move beyond our own version of reality—one that is largely self-constructed—and more towards truth as God defines and reveals it to us.

As we walk along a path that is no longer self-determined we are stripped of all guarantees which are rooted in our selves. We begin to truly live a life of faith, love, and trust in God as the sole Author and Finisher of our faith. It’s no wonder that this undoing presents us with such difficulties. St. John of the Cross teaches that such growth will naturally be accompanied by a sense of loss which will lead us to experience the true poverty of spirit that Jesus is referring to here.

In the paradox of faith, when you feel that you’ve lost your sense of competence in your spiritual life it could well be a sign of real spiritual progress in the direction of a deeper dependence on God. An awareness of inner poverty, of having nothing of your own to offer God, should be cause for peace rather than disturbance since it is, in Jesus’ teaching, the very condition that ushers in blessing.

Questions:

What are some of the ways that we try to manage our relationship with God on our own terms? In what ways do we “lay down terms and conditions?”

What might we be afraid of in asking God to reveal who God is to us? What might we fear losing?

If “poverty of spirit” means to recognize our “creaturehood” (or dependence) before God how easy is this for us to accept? How might the idea of being a child, versus being more adult-like in our relationship with God, apply to this?

Prayer: Ask Jesus to help you accept the poverty of spirit in your life that He calls blessed. Consider what it means to let go of whatever “competence” you think you have in the spiritual life.

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3. “The Upside-Down Ways of God”

Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

Matthew 11:39

Each of the gospels repeat this important teaching that Jesus gave. In a variety of ways the Lord is trying to make us understand something crucial . . . “The one who loves their life will lose it, while the one who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. . . . If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself. . . . Any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.”

The same Jesus who came to give us a more abundant life cautions us about holding on too tightly to the one we have. Rather than love our lives directly, we are to let go and look beyond them, in order to follow more closely the Giver of life.

In what ways might your relationship to life be obstructing your relationship to God? What would it mean for you to “lose your life” in order to find it in Christ? These are the questions that need to be asked if we’re going to experience the truth of one of Jesus’ more difficult sayings.

The Lord invites us to examine our lives in light of this teaching and to explore for ourselves the paradoxical wisdom by which He leads us to greater Truth.

To advance spiritually we must be still . . . to grow we must become small. . . to accumulate we must let go . . . to have perfect freedom we must perfectly submit our wills to God . . . to gain life we must learn how to continually lose it.

Welcome to the kingdom of God. It’s not what you’d expect.

Questions:

Consider the question raised in the meditation: “In what ways might our relationship to life be obstructing our relationship to God?” How are we overly pre-occupied with “finding our life?”

What challenges do we face in trusting Jesus enough to let go of our lives?

What alternatives do we come up with to the upside-down ways that Jesus prescribes? What are some of the outcomes we usually experience in following our own instincts?

Prayer: Talk to Jesus (and to one another if that seems appropriate) about some of the fears we have that cause us to maintain an anxious grip on life. Ask Jesus (or others to pray for you) for faith to trust Him enough to explore the concept of “losing your life in Him” for yourself.

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4. “God Gives us Spiritual Life”

Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” And with that he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit.”

John 20:21

I met with my spiritual director last week. In the course of our time together we examined the mystery of how we participate most with our spiritual growth by simply being receptive to God. This is the age-old “to be or not to be” question to which prayer inevitably leads us. What part do I play in my spiritual life? What part does God play? And at what point does my own participation actually begin to hinder my spiritual growth?

In speaking of this matter, Jeanne Guyon, a 17th century Christian contemplative, used the metaphor of a ship that leaves the port. All the sailors are working hard, pulling at the oars in order to make the ship advance. But once the vessel is at sea and has found favourable winds, the pilot simply spreads the sails and holds the rudder. She writes,

Oh what progress they make without becoming the least bit tired. They are making more progress in one hour without any effort than they ever did before, even when exerting all their strength. If the oars were used now, it would only slow the ship and cause fatigue . . . they are now useless and unnecessary.

Jesus’ command to His disciples was to simply, “Receive the Holy Spirit.” What is the life God is inviting you to receive, without effort, from Him?

I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.

Mark 10:15

Questions:

Is it difficult to imagine that our well-intentioned contribution to our own spiritual life might actually be in the way of God’s more direct work in our life? List some of the things you “do for God” and consider how they might possibly prevent you from receiving other things God has in mind.
What type of spiritual preparation might be the equivalent Jeanne Guyon’s metaphor of rowing the ship into position?
What disposition are we called to in order to better “receive the Holy Spirit?” In what ways do we slow down the ship of our prayers by keeping our “oars” in the water?

Prayer: Talk to Jesus about what He might want you to receive from Him. Ask the Lord to give you faith to let go of the ‘work” of prayer.

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5. “Leaving the Orbit of Self”

Burnt offerings and sin offerings you did not require. Then I said, “Here I am, I have come…. I desire to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart.”

Psalm 40:6-8

It is easy to turn our relationship with God, especially our prayer relationship, into a method or a technique for self-improvement. But God has ordained that the door to intimacy remain closed to anyone who would try to enter by any other means than love. Our love for God reaches beyond the veil that encloses us. It alone can release us from the force of gravity that binds us to ourselves.

Dionysius the Areopagite spoke of a “dart of love” that we must throw outwards from ourselves towards God. Like a grappling hook it will pull us out of the confines of our self-orientation into the arms of God. There is no other way out of the closed system of self than to reach out, in love, to the Divine Other.

O Father, we thank You for relationship with Jesus Christ in whom we are poured out as a love offering. Receive us that we would be caught up in the movement of Your Spirit. Pull us upwards, towards the Love that is You.

Questions:

How do you relate to the “pull of gravity” of the self? How does this natural inclination become a problem in your relationship with God? With others? With yourself?
What other means, besides love, might we be using to approach God with?
How does God work in you, to draw your focus away from self-orientation and towards God?

Prayer: Consider the prayer at the closing of this meditation and God’s “pull” towards His love. In prayer, let yourself be “lifted up” in the love that the Holy Spirit gives you for Christ.

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6. “Spread Out Thinly”

Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation.

Luke 21:34

dis-si-pate: vt. (from the Latin ‘dis-supare’ meaning to ‘throw away’) 1. to scatter 2. to make disappear 3. to waste or squander

Jesus gave this warning to His disciples as a way of bracing them against the confusion of the end times. The disciples were secure while in the presence and proximity of Jesus but He warned them, knowing that He would soon depart, to be careful not to let the fine wine of the Spirit become diluted—watered down by the anxieties and distractions of life. It is advice intended for us all—that we not let the many concerns of the day spread our lives out so thin that the concentration of the Spirit would seem to disappear from our souls.

Like sun rays shining through a magnifying glass, the spiritual life needs to be kept in sharp focus if it is to remain intense. With the glass held at an optimum distance the rays concentrate into a burning light. This optimum distance is a very precise one and, as it applies to our souls, is one that we each have to discover and maintain for ourselves. Moving a magnifying glass back or forward, even slightly, will dissipate the rays and weaken their intensity.

Be careful Jesus tells us. It is easy to lose the intensity of your spiritual life. Keep focused. Be aware of the daily state of your spiritual passion and watch for signs of it being squandered.

Jesus goes on to offer an ounce of prevention to help us keep our spiritual focus. “Be always on the watch,” He says, “and pray.”

Watch— be attentive to the subtle changes that take place in your spirit every day. And pray—take the time to ensure that God’s rays remain at optimum focus in you.

Questions:

Consider how, in your own life, the “fine wine of the Holy Spirit” becomes diluted. What does it feel like to be ‘watered down” in your spiritual life?

What particular anxieties or “concerns of the day” are causing you to lose your spiritual focus at this time? How does prayer help you, like a magnifying glass, regain this focus?

Why is being attentive to the changes in our spirit such an important part of the spiritual life? How can this be cultivated in our lives?

Prayer: Ask God to help you notice when you are becoming dissipated or weighed down in your heart. Ask the Holy Spirit for the resolve that will help you choose to protect your heart from dissipation.

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7. “What Do You Want Lord?”

The LORD came and stood there, calling as at the other times, “Samuel! Samuel!” Then Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”

1 Samuel 3:10

There are many times in life when we are desperate to hear a word from God. Who am I? Who are you? What should I do? Where should I go? Our desire to hear from God often comes from the pressing needs we have for which clear Divine direction would be the most direct remedy. But, in the story of Samuel, we see another disposition towards hearing God’s voice—where the need that is being responded to is not ours, but God’s.

How often do we feel God tugging at our hearts with an invitation to approach Him? It might not come in the form of a complete sentence but it’s easy to know what God is communicating when we sense the gentle breeze of desire for spiritual intimacy pass through our hearts. Perhaps, like Samuel, we need to cultivate the simple response of being attentive to God whenever we feel our hearts being called. Here I am Lord. I heard you call. Speak, for your servant is listening. What would You like from me? For Samuel, listening to God had much more to do with what God might need from him than what he might need from God.

Can we hear the voice of the One who loves us, beckoning our names? We have opportunity, every time we sense God calling us, to respond with the simple act of showing up—to harken as quickly as we can and be attentive.

“Here I am Lord.” This was Samuel’s posture for listening attentively to God. And in 1Sam. 3:19 it is written, “The Lord was with Samuel as he grew up, and he (Samuel) let none of His words fall to the ground.”

That’s what it means to be attentive.

Questions:

Do you feel God calling you, at times, to draw near? How does God do this?

What are some of the ways you respond to or resist God’s beckoning?

How would your prayer be different if its intention was simply to ask God, ”What would You like from me?”

Prayer: Confess the ways that you perhaps let God’s word to you “fall to the ground.” Ask Jesus to help you be more attentive and more immediately responsive to God’s word as it washes over you in your day. Thank God that God’s communication with us doesn’t depend entirely on our hearing correctly, or at all.

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8. “Being Good Ground for God”

When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is the seed sown along the path. The one who received the seed that fell on rocky places is the man who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But since he has no root, he lasts only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, he quickly falls away. The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful. But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.

Matthew 13:19-23

If God is continually sowing the seed of His word in my life how much of that seed gets snatched away by the evil one before I’m even aware of it landing on me? How much of it moves my heart for a moment but, as troubles or pleasures distract me, ends up ultimately dying? What percentage of God’s word actually takes root and becomes fruitful in me? In short, what type of ground am I?

I am increasingly aware of the changing consistency of the “ground” of my soul throughout the day. At times I find I am quite receptive to God and to other people. At other times I feel closed off, more superficial, less porous. The seed no longer penetrates deeply.

The depth of our ground is certainly one of the things Jesus is drawing our attention to in this parable. The rocky places have no topsoil. There is nowhere for the seed to take root in order to bear fruit. The good ground however is able to receive the seed deeply—to nurture it, to provide it with nutrients, and to remain uncluttered enough for a plant to eventually push through.

A spiritually-minded person spends time preparing the ground of their heart, keeping it loose and receptive through prayer, adding nutrients through study and meditation in order to create the optimum conditions for God’s seed to grow. They work to keep the weeds of anxiety and self-pampering at bay so that their ground can be used for more noble purposes. They learn how to nurse the seed to ensure it will germinate after it has touched their hearts. Perhaps they keep a journal so that they can later return and deepen the knowledge or experience that this seed has represented. Or perhaps they introduce new disciplines into their lives, the result of some insight God has shown them about their spiritual growth.

Learning to maintain good ground is one of the most essential conditions for spiritual growth. It is according to the state of your soul that you both receive life as well as beget life. Our “ground” is the place in which we are created, as well as the place from which we create.

Jesus wants us to consider the ever-changing ground of our souls. If our souls are kept in good condition we will receive God deeply into our lives and bear rich fruit beyond ourselves, into the lives of others. All we do will come from a good place.

By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise every good tree bears good fruit.”

Matthew 7:16-18

Questions:

Take a moment to consider the “ground” of your heart. What do you think might happen to the seed that God sows in this type of ground?
What makes you more or less receptive to God’s word? Are there things that you can choose to help you be more so?
What does it mean for you to nurture the seed God has given you, to provide it with nutrients and to keep the space around it uncluttered?

Prayer: Ask God to show you how you might more consistently maintain good, receptive, ground in your life. Express your desire to not only receive deeply the things of God, but also to bear the fruit that the Lord desires in you.

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9. “Free to Walk”

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”

Isaiah 30:21

Listen and you will hear. Could it really be that simple? God, directly influencing our way, whether we turn to the right or to the left? It reminds me of the words to an old hymn, ”for those who live a life of prayer God is present everywhere.” In this passage we find encouragement that, no matter which way we go, we can always hope to hear the Lord’s assurances in our prayers: “This is the way, walk in it.”

How often do we carry in our minds the image of a fork in the road? We assume that one way is necessarily God’s will and that the other will lead us away from His Presence. Though it is always necessary to ask for clarity in making choices it is not appropriate for us to overly fear being out of God’s will if we are people of prayer. If we are constantly open to being redirected, His voice is always behind us saying, “This is the way, walk in it.”

Jesus knew the assurance of the Father’s constant presence when He said in John 8, “the one who sent me is with me; He has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases Him.”

This is the same assurance the Lord offered His disciples when He said: “Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Whether you turn to the right or to the left, I am with you always; whether you are in temptation or not, I am always with you always; whether you believe it or not, I am with you always.

You are not lost. This is the way, walk in it. May we be people who listen continually for that blessed assurance.

Acknowledge the Lord in all your ways and He will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3:6

Questions:

In what situations does “fork in the road” thinking usually show up for you? Are there imminent decisions in your life that you fear might move you away from God’s “plan” for you?
How does prayer give you confidence that whether you turn to the right or the left, God is saying, “this is the way?”
How might simply seeking to “always do what pleases God” guide us in our decisions? What other considerations might take priority over this one?

Prayer: Ask God to show you the things that are most pleasing to Him about your life at present. Consider choices you are about to make, big ones and small ones, and ask the Lord where His pleasure might be in these.

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10. “Testing Spirits”

No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit.

Luke 6 :43-44

Anyone who regularly practices the Awareness Examen (see website) will become much more attentive to what happens within them each day. As we discover the many shades of experience that take place in the course of a day we come to recognize both the good and bad spirits that influence the choices we make. It’s important to be able to distinguish between these spirits. In 1 John 4 :1 we are cautioned to “not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God”’ Jesus shows us, in the Scripture above, one way to do this—by examining the fruit a spirit bears within you.

What are you experiencing in your spirit and what has led you there? Is the spirit that has led you to this state of soul truly from God? Or is it a spirit you shouldn’t be heeding?

St. Ignatius of Loyola taught his disciples to distinguish between spirits that produce consolations in the soul and those that produce desolations of the soul. If we picture our inner life as a weather system it might give us an idea of the varied states of light and darkness our souls pass through each day. The word consolation, from the Latin, literally means “with the sun.” Desolation, in contrast, means “without the sun.” These are important distinctions to note as they each bear quite a different fruit in our spirits.

In his Spiritual Exercises, Ignatius identifies the spirit of consolation as causing “an increase of faith, hope, and love, and all interior joy that invites and attracts to what is heavenly by filling it with peace and quiet in its Creator and Lord.”

Desolations he defines as:

darkness of soul, turmoil of spirit, inclination to what is low and earthly, restlessness rising from many disturbances which lead to want of faith, want of hope, want of love. The soul is wholly slothful, tepid, sad and separated, as it were, from its Creator and Lord.

In his diagnosis of the effects of desolation Ignatius adds,

it is characteristic of the evil spirit to afflict with sadness, to harass with anxiety and to raise obstacles based on false reasoning.

Sound familiar? You will know a spirit by its fruit. A bad spirit produces a souring of the soul. Awareness that this is happening should be the first indicator that the voice you are following is not from God. It is time to let go of whatever your mind, heart or actions have been pursuing and to wait on God for redirection.

The church has handed down to us important wisdom with regards to living the spiritual life. As we learn to pay more attention to our souls we will be able to more wisely choose which voices to follow.

My sheep follow me because they know my voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.

John 10:4-5

Questions:

If attentiveness is essential to making good choices, how can we cultivate this wisdom?
Ignatius says that “it is characteristic of the evil spirit to afflict with sadness, to harass with anxiety and to raise obstacles based on false reasoning.” The fruit of this spirit is that “the soul is wholly slothful, tepid, sad and separated, as it were, from its Creator and Lord.” In what ways do we unnecessarily blame ourselves for such states of soul rather than the spirit we’ve been following?
Once such a “souring of the soul” has been noticed what can be done about it?

Prayer: Ask the Lord to help you be more attentive to what takes place in your soul each day. Ask God for wisdom in choosing which spirits to follow in your inner life and which to run away from.

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11. “Finding and Keeping Your Heart”

Above all else guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life.

Proverbs 4:23

Where are you situated within yourself? What aspect of yourself do you most identify with? Perhaps a pianist would say his hands. An artist might say her eyes. Many people might say their mouths are the place they feel most identified with. Take a moment before reading on to examine this in yourself. Where are you? Where do you operate from most of the time?

I would imagine (an ironic clue in itself) that most of us identify with our minds more than any other aspect of our being. Our minds lay claim to a significant portion of our personhood. We think, and therefore assume that we are what we think. This Cartesian assumption however can also prove problematic. Many of us know, or have known, what it is like to be victims of our own minds.

The Bible is clear however that we are not our minds. According to Scripture, it is the heart that is the center of who we are. The Hebrew word labe (translated “heart”) is understood as the seat of our feelings, will and intellect—the place we come from, the wellspring of life. That is why the contemplative desires to dwell as much as possible in his or her heart.

The Desert Fathers taught their disciples how to pray with their minds in their hearts. They recognized this as a deepening degree of prayer. As their hearts were warmed by concentration on God their thoughts melted, being transformed more into feelings for God. As Bishop Theophan the Recluse wrote, “whoever has passed through action and thought to true feeling will pray without words, for God is God of the heart.”

To find one’s heart requires much more simplicity than your mind is usually comfortable with. One has to learn to descend deeper, below the choppy surface waves of who we are. As Simon Tugwell writes,

What is important is that our prayer should reach down to the core of our being, the point of unity with our identity. This is something deeper than and underlying all our intellectual and emotional activity. It is from there, if anywhere, that our thoughts and feelings can be ‘taken captive in Christ.’

It takes grace to recover our heart-identity. But once we have found it, the wisdom of Proverbs tells us to be careful to guard it above all things. Learn how to remain there—in the truth of who you are—because, there, you will discover the wellspring of your life.

Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart.

Psalm 86:11

Questions:

How aware are you of the movements of your heart in the course of a day?
In what ways have you felt like a “victim of your mind” at times? What habits of thought produce anxiety and a deflated spirit in you?
How can you identify more with the movements of your heart as your truer self? How can this identity be “guarded?”

Prayer: Ask the Holy Spirit to “take captive” your thoughts in Christ and to make more evident to you the movements of God’s spirit that take place in your heart. Consider Psalm 133 as you desire the simplicity of the spirit of self-poverty that will lead you away from “great matters” and more towards the quiet murmurs of the heart.

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12. “Trusting Enough to Let Go”

Cast your bread upon the waters, for after many days you will find it again.

Ecclesiastes 11:1

One thing that prayer teaches us is that we have to keep letting go in order to advance further. You have to loosen the grip on what is in your hand in order to gain the next thing, or simply to gain a freer relationship to what you already have. Sometimes this requires remaining in a place of nothingness—a place between letting go and receiving—in faith that God will return us to ourselves. We learn to wait, sometimes many days, for what the waters may bring in.

Cast your bread upon the waters. The only way to know for sure that what you have is really God-given is to hold it loosely. Your vocation, your possessions, your status, your lot in life—these are given things. And it is faith that this is so that lets us hold on to them loosely. We cast them back upon the waters of life confident that, if they are from God, they will be found over and over again to be ours.

The alternative to this type of faith is to covet our gifts, fight for our possessions, become anxious about our vocation, or manipulative about securing or bettering our lot in life. We can easily be deceived into thinking we have something to protect.

What is the sustenance (i.e. the “bread”) that God is calling you to cast upon the waters? Is it a vision that you are now running headlong with? Is it a status or a security that, after all these years, you have finally achieved? Or is it an anxiety that has been driving you to perform or achieve something in order to feel more significant or complete? Try casting these upon the waters of God’s life and see if you don’t feel a little freer. Let yourself be surprised at what comes back to you. Notice how the thing has been transformed in its return. It will certainly look different than when it was first in your hands.

Questions:

How does “casting your bread upon the waters” express faith that what you have has been given to you by God?

What do you feel when you try to overly covet life? What fears usually inspire this approach to life?

What areas of your life are you not sure that you can trust God about?

Prayer: Ask God to show you places in your life where you lose your freedom because of a fear that you need to protect something in your life. Pray for a trusting spirit that will gently hold all the things the Lord has given you.

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13. “All By Itself, It Grows!”

This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain–first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head. As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come.

Mark 4:26-29

Where, and at what stage is your ministry? Or to use Jesus’ metaphor, what is the maturity of the grain in your soil? Perhaps the seed is still at the sprouting stage. You believe that you have a ministry but you don’t know what it is yet. Every now and then you feel definite promptings of love and joy that deeply move the desires of your heart. It could just be a wish, a dream, or a direction of how you would love to be applied in life. As you continue to nurture and care for that mysterious seed buried within you, visible stalks eventually appear above ground as you recognize opportunities in life to cultivate the seed further. It might be a person you meet who shares a similar vision, or an opening to volunteer with a group that is doing something in the general direction of your calling. Perhaps you feel led to take initiative in equipping yourself to serve better in this area.

As you continue discerning, not only from the promptings within you but now also from the formation that comes from the outside, your plant soon develops its head. You know with greater confidence who you are in life and you now move with a stronger sense of purpose towards intentional ministry. It’s a slow process that can’t be hurried any more than you can rush your geraniums into bloom.

And if your ministry should grow to the stage of producing a “full kernel in the head,” it will now have its own reproducing seed. God will use your ministry as a way of birthing something similar in another person. It’s an amazing process that is always taking place throughout the kingdom of God.

In all these mysteries of spiritual growth one thing is certain: we are all being applied in ministry by virtue of the salt and light that Jesus’ increasing Presence represents within us. Believe that kingdom ministry is taking place through you and you will certainly see it happening. We don’t look for, nor choose a ministry as though we didn’t have one. But, by being more attentive to the plant that God is growing within us, we discover the one we already have ……. first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head.

Questions:

What do you feel called, not necessarily to do, but to be in this world? Take time to consider this, and then ask yourself what stage the seed of this calling seems to be at according to this meditation.

Do you have faith that “whether you sleep or get up” this seed will grow and produce the fruit God has planted in you? Why is there anxiety or impatience in us at times about this?

What are some of the signs that our seed is becoming more defined, and that we are being called to make more intentional choices to nurture and care for it?

Prayer: Ask God to give you faith and joy regarding the “seed” of your life, whether you can see its fruit yet or not. Express your trust that God is doing a good work in your life.

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14. “Too Scattered to Pray”

Be clear-minded and self-controlled so that you can pray.

1 Peter 4:7

Praying doesn’t start when you sit down to pray. That’s the time you get to go deeper from wherever you are. But this question of the shifting state of “wherever you are” is important to our prayer experience. Our state of soul keeps fluctuating throughout the days and weeks and we need to be reminded that we have opportunity to steer it always in the general direction of prayer.

For centuries contemplatives have tried to pursue Paul’s instructions to “pray unceasingly” (1 Thes. 5:17). This of course can’t mean to be in constant dialogue, or monologue, with God every minute of the day. Unceasing prayer is to be understood more as a grace of spirit that pervades the day. It’s an ongoing openness and attentiveness to God’s action within us that gets cultivated throughout our lives. And according to Peter, in order to be prayerfully attentive we first need to be clear-minded. What does this imply for our day?

If we think of a water well whose surface is perfectly still we might get an idea of what Peter means. When the water surface is still and calm, you can sometimes see all the way to the bottom of the well. But if the water is being constantly stirred up or splashed around it’s hard to see anything beyond the surface.

Let’s not underestimate the effect a day’s agitations can have on our spirit of prayer, nor the opportunity we have to counter this by practicing stillness each day. As prayer becomes more and more central to our lives we will learn to interpret everything in terms of what contributes or detracts from it, and we will make life-style changes accordingly. We will apply self-control to our inner life for the sake of a better relationship to prayer.

If we seek such peace and learn to pursue it in our day, prayer will certainly be the natural expression of minds that are controlled by the tranquility of God.

In patience you shall possess your souls. To possess fully our souls is the effect of patience, made more perfect as it is less mixed with disquiet and eagerness.

—St. Frances de Sales

Questions:

What are some ways that you might practice the grace of spirit that will keep you more open and attentive to God’s action in your day?
What prevents you from being clear-minded in relationship to the spirit of prayer? What stirs up the well of your heart so that you can no longer see God’s movement there?
What life-style changes might contribute to less agitation in your spirit, “so that you can pray?”

Prayer: Ask the Lord to give you a growing love for prayer, and a desire to be in the proper state of mind and soul so that you can pray. Ask God to help you arrange your life in ways that are more conducive to a prayerful spirit.

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15. “Waiting to Receive”

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; whoever seeks finds; and to they who knock, the door will be opened.

Luke 11:7-8

Jesus’ words in Luke were given in response to the disciples asking Him how they should pray. Jesus here teaches us the disposition we should maintain while awaiting an answer to prayer. We have our role to play in this relationship, and so does God. And we need to learn how to make room for God’s part.

If we look at the grammar in this passage we see two sides of the prayer coin: the active and the passive parts. This is the gracious dance of faith that prayer leads us to.

Ask and it will be given to you. Is our disposition towards the things we ask for in prayer that of a person preparing to receive something, or is it more like someone expecting to get something? A “getting” posture is one that counts on prayer to achieve the outcome we desire. We already know what we want and we’re hoping that prayer will secure it for us. A “receiving” posture, on the other hand, doesn’t presume the shape our petition will take as God hands it back to us in the form of an answered prayer. It takes practice in prayer in order to learn how to receive freely from God, i.e. to allow something to be given to you.

Seek and you will find. We have images of God, of ourselves, and of life that we keep returning to for assurance. There is nothing really to “find” in this type of prayer. To seek means to look for something we don’t already have. It’s the prerequisite to the authentic experience of finding—more like a child discovering something brand new, something they would’ve never imagined existed. It takes faith in prayer to be open to finding things we weren’t necessarily expecting.

Knock and the door will be opened to you. Once again the same grammar applies. We can push doors open on our own, sometimes even producing the results we wanted. The satisfaction though is very different from that of knowing that a particular door has been opened for us by God. There is no greater security in spiritual direction than to know that the Lord is inviting you to walk through a door that He Himself has opened. It takes patience in prayer to wait in front of a closed door, giving God the freedom to open it or not.

Trusting God is the essence of prayer, and Jesus assumes that, given what we know of Him, this disposition should be so natural for us as to make the alternative laughable. That’s why He ends this teaching with the ridiculous notion of a son who would ask his father for a fish, only to get a snake instead (Luke 11:11-12). The son then asks for an egg, and his father gives him a scorpion. It’s ridiculous to think that a father would act this way towards his child. But is this what our fears and anxieties sometimes look like from God’s perspective? How does peace of mind, and confidence in His provisions, honour God’s care for us?

To wait until our prayers are answered before allowing ourselves to have peace is to miss out on Jesus’ great teaching here. Prayers are meant to produce peace in us, long before they are answered.

Questions:

What is the disposition that you usually wait for your prayers to be answered in?

How prepared are you to receive the answer to your prayers in a quite different form than you were imagining? Can you pray without necessarily imagining the outcome for yourself? Are you prepared to find something in God or in your spiritual life that you never imagined was possible?

What challenges do you feel in giving God the freedom to open the doors you’ve knocked on, or not?

Prayer: Ask the Holy Spirit to help you honour God with peace of mind and confidence in His provisions for your life. Ask God to show you ways that you can more graciously receive the things given to you, the things revealed to you, or the doors that are being opened for you.

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16. “When You’re Crippled Inside”

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

he leads me beside quiet waters,

he restores my soul.

Psalm 23:2-3

People go to chiropractors when they feel their bones are out of alignment. One disc out of joint sets the whole vertebrae into painful compensation. Luckily, the skilful hand of a chiropractor can tell what is out of line and can physically manipulate it back into place. With everything set in right order there is peace and proper functioning once again in the body.

As I come to prayer, I am often similarly aware that my spirit is out of sorts. I feel internally crippled, as though my soul was in some contorted state. Perhaps it has been battered by my emotions, or is in a spasm over a disturbing thought I have been obsessing about. Sometimes it is fear that causes my soul to close in on itself, tightening its grip and cutting off the circulation of the Spirit within me.

Like chiropractice, prayer is also a time for setting things in their right order. The shrivelled hand is restored to its original shape. That which is lame is made free to walk again. That which was blind can now see and what was deaf can once again hear. Only the Holy Spirit knows what my restored self looks like and, as I trust in God’s re-creative power, I am once again set in right order through prayer.

Before a chiropractor can manipulate your bones however you must first learn to relax. If you remain tense you can actually worsen your condition. Similarly with prayer, the Holy Spirit works according to the degree of trust we have. As we rest in God, there are times when we can actually feel the gentle manipulations of the Spirit working deep within our soul as slight adjustments are made, freeing up the movements of our spiritual life.

But, as anyone who goes unfortunately knows, a visit to a chiropractor is not a one-time event. No sooner do we step out of the clinic, refreshed and in proper alignment, do we start walking, bending, sitting according to all the bad habits that brought us there in the first place. It can be a costly and very temporary recovery program. Lucky for us though, as it applies to prayer, we have a great medical plan in heaven that allows us to return to the Great Physician as often as needed for restoration.

May wisdom teach us to not delay before seeing the Doctor at the first symptoms of spiritual contortion.

Questions:

What are some signs that tell you that your soul needs restoration? What causes such needs in you?

What are some ways that you either try to deal with these yourself or simply resign yourself to the mis-alignment you feel?

What would help you remember, as the meditation suggests, to come sooner to the “Great Physician” at the first symptoms of spiritual contortion?

Prayer: Make a choice to seek God the moment you begin to notice disorders in your thinking, behaviour or attitude. Present yourself to the Lord and ask Him to gently work out the “knots” in your system and to help restore you to a place of inner freedom.

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17. “Making Waves”

Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. As they pass though the valley of Baca, they turn it into springs.

Psalm 84 :5-6

Geese know how to organize in a V-formation in order to give them optimum efficiency when flying in a group. An air turbulence is set up by the geese ahead which carries you further than the effort you are expending. Something similar seems to happen when you fly around those who have “set their hearts on pilgrimage,” i.e. those who are cultivating the pursuit of God in their lives. You find yourself being carried further than you ever could on your own.

To pursue God is to blaze a trail that gets deeply etched in life. But it is not just for ourselves that this path exists. Our individual journeys give courage and direction to those around us as well. Like a boat that sets its point forward through the water, there is a wake that forms, influencing the direction of things behind it.

When I was younger I had a small motor boat and would often go for short excursions on the St. Lawrence River. Big ships passed through the channel each day and, if I wanted to make better speed coming home, I could easily put myself in the wake of a cargo ship and be carried swiftly alongside it.

A person who has cultivated the discipline of prayer in their lives likewise has a life-turbulence around them that seems to encourage a similar direction in those who are near. Anyone with vitality in their prayer life naturally inspires those who sense similar possibilities for themselves. They remind those around them of what is also the deepest desire of their hearts. Love for God is contagious and it is something that is usually caught more than taught.

Isn’t this the way God always seems to work? Not only do we benefit from His Presence, but He ordains that there is a spillover effect whereby dry deserts turn into springs of life. As we are drawn to God, the Lord takes occasion, through us, to draw others as well.

Consider the people, both past and present, who have had this effect on you—those whose intimacy with God has reminded you of your own spiritual potential—and you will know the phenomena that the psalmist is describing here: as they pass through the valley of Baca, they turn it into springs.

Questions:

Who are the friends you feel are on a similar pilgrimage as you are? How would you define this particular fellowship? What benefits do these friends bring to your consistency with God?

Who are those, past or present, who through their own commitment to God, have drawn you deeper into your own spirituality? How did God inspire you to believe that what you saw in their lives, was also possible in yours?

How does your own commitment to seek God also benefit others? Who are those in whom you recognize the “wake” of your own influence? Who are those whom you wish could also be there with you?

Prayer: Thank the Lord for the “communion of saints” who are around you in your life. Be grateful for the many sermons, books, conversations or prayers you have had with others that have inspired your vision for the spiritual life. Express your desire that God would also encourage others through you as your own heart is increasingly “set on pilgrimage.”

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18. “Shopping for Pearls”

The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.

Matthew 13:44-46

It’s hard to find time to pray. And even when we do, it’s often a struggle to keep focused on seeking God rather than pursuing the many other interesting thoughts and tangents that come to mind. The discipline of prayer is certainly a forum where making good spiritual choices is a constant challenge. As one of my mentors, Dr. James Houston, once said, “Prayer is ultimately a battle of the will. The battle makes us choose what, in the end, we really want.”

This first parable tells us of man who stumbles upon a treasure and then takes steps to secure what he really wants. Likewise, when the merchant of the second parable finds a pearl of great price, he goes and sells all he has in order to purchase it. In both cases the assumption is that the person does not yet possess the desired item, but has to acquire it through an exchange of goods. He has to sell what he has in order to get what he would prefer having. To think of our prayer life in such consumerist terms can be helpful. Consider these three parallels:

The first would be to compare having read about prayer, and feeling excited about the possibility of acquiring such an experience for ourselves, with catalogue shopping. The items in a catalogue are meant to draw our attention to their selling features and to convince us to purchase them. At some point the catalogue has done as much as it can and it’s now up to us to choose whether we want this item for ourselves or not.

A second, more developed relationship to prayer might be compared to window-shopping, or browsing in a store. You can spend a lot of time examining a beautiful jacket that you’re considering purchasing. You can look at it from all angles, feel its material, perhaps even try it on for size. And you can come back the next day to do the same thing all over again. But as much as you admire the jacket, it will never be yours until you’ve actually bought it. You can’t take it out of the store until you’ve exchange goods for it.

And lastly, a third relationship to prayer might be compared to test-driving an expensive car. If we’ve had even minimal practice in the discipline of prayer, it’s likely that God has allowed us to experience some of the delights of spiritual experience first-hand. Like any salesman who believes in his product, it would be fair for God to assume that, having now sampled the goods, we will quickly empty our wallets to secure this wonderful item for ourselves.

It would be an odd parable wouldn’t it, if Jesus had spoken of a man who found a pearl of great value but, though excited and intent on buying it, got distracted on his way to the bank by a piece of granite on the side of the road. And yet wouldn’t this be an apt description of the way we often stray from our spiritual goals?

What keeps us on track? In this parable, Jesus tells us that it is joy for our goal that directs us. It’s what kept the merchant focused on his intentions—in his joy, he went and sold all he had. Because of the joy we have experienced in His Presence, Jesus expects us to make it a priority to sell all we have in order to procure this precious pearl. It is surely worth more than anything else we could ever desire.

Questions:

Do you see the thoughts and distractions that happen in your prayer time as choices that you have made? How does God use this ambivalence in us to purify “what, in the end, we really want?”

Using the three “consumerist” examples, where would you situate your own relationship to your desire for prayer? How does this tendency show up in your response to the spiritual life?

What “goods” must we exchange in order to secure the precious pearl that we have seen? What helps you to keep your desires for the spiritual life at the forefront of your thinking?

Prayer: Meditate on the joy that is calling you forward in Christ. Ask the Holy Spirit to help keep your deepest desire for union with God at the forefront of all that you do. Ask yourself what distracts you from this joy and pray that God would help you choose the better way.

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19. “Straightening the Crooked Timber”

Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Matthew 6:10

This petition is certainly the underlying prayer of the contemplative life. Thy will be done….and let it begin with me. When everyone on earth reflects this prayer we will live as a multitude of perfectly orchestrated expressions of God, in other words, heaven on earth. I suspect there is an inner sense in us that already knows that such a day is not only possible, but the inevitable solution to all that is wrong with life.

As we pursue God through prayer, a spiritual intuition is at work in us that desires, above all things, to find and follow the immediate will of God. We sense a distortion in our lives that confuses our personalities, our direction, and the effect we have on others. We recognize the dubious nature of the choices we make and how they contribute to the disarray around us. And something in us suspects that the solution to this discrepancy lies in a more perfect obedience to the will of God.

The fact that Jesus put these words in our mouths is proof enough that “what is” is not “what should be.” That we pray for God’s will to be done on earth is an acknowledgment that we recognize a re-alignment is necessary in order for us to become what heaven truly has in mind.

But Jesus isn’t telling us to get to work correcting this problem. That would be an impossible task. As T.S. Eliot put it, “Out of the crooked timber of humanity, no straight thing was ever made.” Instead, the Lord offers us a remedy in the form of a prayer that looks to God for both personal and social transformation. These eleven words recognize that such restoration can only come from above.

To be willing to submit to a Way that is higher than ours is what is implied in the petition, “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” And the request that this prayer expresses is what is most required of us in order for it to be fulfilled—the sincere longing that it be so in our own lives.

Questions:

Consider what your unique personality would be like if you followed every inclination of God’s will that moves you. What desire does this produce in you? Are there other responses that you feel in considering this?

What are some of the distortions you can identify in your own life that “confuses our personalities, our direction, and the effect we have on others?” How do you feel about this?

How is the sincere longing for God’s realignment of our wills enough to give us hope that change will occur?

Prayer: Read the beginning verses of Psalm 119. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you a genuine love and desire for God’s will in your life. Ask Jesus to help you to not assume responsibility for straightening out the “crooked timber of your humanity” but to look to “Our Father in heaven” to answer the desire of this prayer.

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20. “Digging Holes For God To Fill”

Deep calls to deep

in the roar of your waterfalls;

all your waves and breakers

have swept over me.

Psalm 42:7

Do you remember being at the beach as a child, digging a hole in the sand and then watching it fill up with water? Because the water table is so high you don’t have to dig very deep before it comes pouring in. But soon after, mud starts falling in from the edges, fills the hole, and once again you have to dig out new space for the water. When I remember this I can’t help but feel there’s something very similar happening in my spiritual life. It also helps me understand the relationship between my spiritual disciplines and the infilling of God’s spirit.

The contemplative life, in a very basic sense, is a matter of creating holes in anticipation of God filling them. There are lots of ways we can dig holes in our lives: fasting, prayer, silence, humility, tithing, submission, etc. These disciplines create space within us. But as our childhood experience teaches us, it doesn’t take very long for the ocean to fill a hole that is dug close to the shore. We know how the contours of our lives, like sand falling in from the edges, soon begin filling up the hole again. That’s why it takes ongoing spiritual disciplines to keep space open for God.

As Deep calls to deep we are led to what is most profound within us. To be a spiritual person is to learn to live deeply. The very word profound is a composite of the Latin for pro, meaning “toward,” and fundere, which means “bottom.” The word that contrasts with this depth of life is the word superficial, which means to be “above the face,” to remain on the sur-face of things. Being shallow is a concept that can easily apply to our spiritual life at times.

But God wants better for us. He calls us to live deeply. And prayer is the prescribed exercise for finding and remaining in the place that is most profound within us. As we discover the depth of wisdom and truth that lies in each of us, Psalm 42 testifies to the experience of God’s infilling Spirit rising up, like Living Waters, within us. All your waves and breakers have swept over me. Let us dig deep holes and, in faith, live lives where being “swept over by God” might often be our experience as well.

Questions:

What, in your experience, produces space in your life for God to fill? What other things can fill in those spaces so that God seems pushed out?

What are some of the disciplines you have built into your life to keep these spaces available to God? What are some new ones that God might be calling you to set up in your life?

How would you describe your “profound” self? Your “superficial” self?

Prayer: Talk with God about God’s desire that you would live a deeply profound life. Ask for insight into the relationship of prayer to the “inner space” required for this. Pray that the Holy Spirit will sustain the desire you feel for a profound spiritual life.

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21. “Grace, Welling Up Within Us”

Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.

John 7:38

In her wonderful booklet, The Prayer Life as a Garden, St. Teresa of Avila speaks of four stages of prayer. These are not necessarily progressive steps, nor are they experiences that everyone who prays will recognize as consistent with theirs. But they are helpful markers of a direction that Jesus promised would well up in all those who enter and pursue God’s stream of life.

Teresa calls us to be good gardeners of our lives who, with the help of God, must see that our spiritual plants grow. “We should water them carefully,” she writes, “so that they will not die, but rather produce blossoms.” Teresa describes four ways by which our garden can be watered, beginning with the most labourious, and ending with the most effortless.

The first way she compares to simply drawing water in a bucket from a well. This refers to the effort of being disciplined in prayer, returning to it often, and drawing what we can from meditating on thoughts of God. She says that “working with the understanding then, is like drawing water out of the well.” This form prayer she calls meditation.

The second way of prayer is like a water wheel which draws the water up from the well for you. You arrive at the well to find a bucket, already full of water. This, Teresa compares to the prayer of contemplation, which “now touches on things that are divine, which it could never do by any effort of its own.” It is a time when grace freely reveals itself to the soul. Our wills have somehow become subject to God’s will. We now merely consent to being captured by the love of God. Teresa writes,

Everything that takes place now in this state brings the very greatest consolation. The labour is so light that prayer, even if persevered in for some time, is never wearisome. The reason is that the understanding is now working very gently and is drawing much more water than it drew out of the well.

In this mode, the soul dares not move nor stir for fear that the blessing it is receiving would then disappear from its hands. Teresa stresses that “it is very important that the soul which reaches this stage realize the great dignity of its position and the great favour that the Lord has bestowed upon it.” The soul, through this experience, becomes aware of a love it has for God that is much less self-interested. It now desires to find solitude more often in order to enjoy that good love all the more.

Teresa then describes a third way of prayer which is like finding streams in your garden that only require being directed towards the flowers. The soil is now more thoroughly saturated and there is no necessity to water it as often. The labour of the gardener is simply that of directing the stream that flows constantly into its garden, towards the flowers. In this state of prayer there is less distinction between our work and God’s work within us. We assume more readily that the life welling up within us is, in fact, the Holy Spirit. It is contemplation in action. Our will is active, but mostly in consenting to the action of God within us. If the second way of praying was more characteristic of Mary, sitting without stirring at Jesus’ feet, this third way Teresa likens to also include the active nature of Martha. “The soul is living both the active and the contemplative life at the same time.” It is active in the world and yet understands that “the best part of the soul is somewhere else.”

Finally, the fourth way of prayer is when you find that it is raining all around you. The garden is being watered all by itself and there is nothing left for you to do. This is the effortless perfection of receiving our lives completely from the hand of God. The heavenly water “flows to our very depths and spreads within us.” In terminology that we can only imagine, Teresa refers to this experience as “the soul entering within itself.” This is the Mystical Union with God that so many saints have spoken of.

People who often pray will likely recognize elements of each of Teresa’s four stages in their prayer experience. For those who are just being introduced to the fruit of prayer, Teresa’s words will hopefully excite your heart and help identify a real passion that exists within you for love and intimacy with God. Either way, it is wonderful to have spiritual ancestors like Teresa who write from an experience that confirms the heart’s instinct and desire for union with God. Whoever believes…streams of living water will flow from within. Let us be encouraged to seek growth in the knowledge of God so freely offered, in Jesus’ words, to “whoever believes.”

Questions:

Which of the ways that Teresa describes for watering our garden seems most familiar to your present experience of the spiritual life?

What is your experience of grace, freely revealing itself to your soul? How do you respond to God in these times?

From your present experience of God, which of these four experiences of “drawing water” would you desire to grow in?

Prayer: Ask God to show you, in the metaphors that Teresa lists, how to understand the movements of your own prayer life. Talk with God about the desires you feel when you read about some of the other ways that people have experienced God.

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22. “Fear of Falling”

For in him, we live, move and have our being.

Acts 17:28

I had a strange dream once. I’m not usually inclined to fantasy in my dreams but this one certainly had all the elements of a Twilight Zone episode. The fact that this dream created such a change of perception in my life tells me that it was probably a “Word of God”—the type that doesn’t come back empty but accomplishes what the Lord sent it out to do.

In the dream I had somehow ended up in the middle of outer space, suspended on a cube-shaped scaffold. All around me, in every direction as far as could be imagined, there was nothing but infinity. The scaffold was the only thing I had to hold on to. As I was trying to come to terms with my predicament, I suddenly became aware of a large hand materializing out of nowhere. With thumb and finger it began pulling at one of the bars of the scaffold. I somehow knew that this hand belonged to God and I immediately protested, “Why are you doing this?” The hand ignored me and then disappeared, taking with it one of the supporting bars of the cube. My state of affairs was now even more precarious than before. After the initial shock had subsided, having no other choice, I accepted my loss and went back to contemplating my options.

It wasn’t long before the hand reappeared and started pulling once again at another bar. Again I went through all the motions of shock and protest, as well as the confusion of why God was doing this. But the hand continued its merciless work of dismantling the structure that was keeping me afloat. This same exercise repeated itself again and again until finally, I was left with one remaining bar—the only thing keeping me from falling into the deep abyss below. And once more, to my horror, the hand reappeared.

I remember pleading with God, explaining how I will fall if He removes this last bar (as though He didn’t understand my predicament). But my cries went unheeded as the hand reached out to remove the last remaining bar. I braced myself for whatever would happen next as I felt the bar slowly being pulled out from the tight grip of my hands.

Somehow I still had faith that God would not let me fall, but how? Would He quickly reach underneath to rescue me? Would He offer me His own hand to hold onto? Or would He create another scaffold below me to land on? I waited, bracing myself for whatever might follow. But nothing happened. To my surprise, I didn’t fall. I was still floating in open space, in the same place where the scaffold had been. My belief that the structure was what had been keeping me afloat turned out to be an illusion. And all my fears, as well as the emotional investment the scaffold represented to me, were for nothing. Sound familiar?

This was a dream that challenged me to take stock of all the other scaffolds in my life that I presumed to be supporting me. It was also a call for me to start exercising more faith in the free-fall of life. It taught me that, as long as I am holding on to my self-made securities, I will never recognize the security of the God who is actually sustaining me.

In Him, we live, move and have our being. The contemplative life invites us to let go of our self-made constructs in order to discover God, the One who actually sustains us.

Questions:

This meditation suggests that the securities we set up for ourselves might prevent us from experiencing God’s own provisions in our lives. How do you relate to this thought?

What are some of the “bars” that make you feel secure on your scaffold? How do you respond to the thought of losing or letting of some of these?

What might be the faith alternative to some of our own fear-rooted prayers?

Prayer: Begin by confessing your fears to God, who certainly understands our need for security. Ask the Lord to teach you other ways of relating to the things you fear. Praise God by expressing your trust in His love and care for you.

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23. “It’s All in the Name”

Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.

Genesis 2:19

This passage reveals how honoured we are in the relationship God chooses to form with us. It shows us how our Father delights and is keenly interested in how we respond to His creation. When we read that the Lord brought the animals to Adam in order “to see what he would name them,” it implies a certain amount of uncertainty that we don’t usually ascribe to God. He is curious about how we will respond, and He looks to us to put the final label on what He has created. Perhaps this delight is the same as that of a father giving a kitten to his child and waiting to see what she will call it.

To name something, of course, is more than simply giving it a label. It expresses a relationship or an impression we have of something. It is how we respond to the thing before us.

If God leaves the final interpretation of His creation up to us, how does this apply to the various circumstances He brings before our lives? What are the “names” we give to these circumstances? Fearful? Opportunity? Good? Bad? Punishment? Reward? Success? Failure? A test? A blessing? And how does the “name” we give contribute to how we experience them? “Whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.”

The naming of things is one of the noble privileges God has given us, but it can also be a two-edged sword if we’re not careful with the names we choose. What we call something will determine the relationship we form with it. Jesus once told His disciples “what is bound on earth is bound in heaven.” We need to be careful to not be too hasty in choosing names.

Questions:

What are some times that you remember when you had “named” something in your circumstances wrongly? What happens when you misinterpret what is happening in your life?

What type of names do we put to the various relationships in our lives? Are they always helpful?

How can we change the name of something when we suspect that we have mis-labeled it?

Prayer: Consider the ways and the reasons you have “named” various circumstances or relationships in your life. Ask God to show you where you might have to reconsider the label you have chosen. Then, from the mystery of “not knowing,” ask the Lord for wisdom in choosing a new name for this, hopefully the same name that God would choose.

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24. “Things Aren’t What They Seem”

The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: “God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.” But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said: “God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God

Luke 18:11-14

You can’t tell a book by its cover, and sometimes even its content can deceive us. According to this parable, our inner feelings about our status with God are not always the best judge of where we stand. How often, in the paradox of spiritual life, might our sense of distance from God actually indicate our closeness to Him? And how might our feelings of self-satisfaction with our spiritual life actually be an indicator of a tepid spirit?

The Pharisee thought himself to be in a state of consolation. He was enjoying a wonderful sense of well-being with regards to his relationship with God. In his mind all things were as they should be. He stood confidently before the Lord, giving thanks for the abundant blessings of his life.

Acknowledging God’s grace is of course the great antidote to the sense of self-accomplishment that so often tempts a blessed life. No danger of that faux-pas for this saint. The Pharisee acknowledged his good fortune, and didn’t hesitate to give all the glory back to God. He felt satisfied, highlighting the obvious evidence of his gratitude—his regular disciplines of fasting and tithing. You can just hear the beginning words of the hymn forming on his lips, “It is well, it is well with my soul.”

The tax collector, on the other hand, stood at a distance. Not only physically, but also in his sense of relationship to God. Ignatius of Loyola, in his Spiritual Exercises, describes the state of desolation as that of feeling separated from our Creator. The Lord allows such experiences at times in order to purify our love, our faith and our desires. Standing near the real Presence of God has always led saints to a sober awareness of their relative unworthiness.

In Jesus’ parable, the Pharisee was the one who was blind to the truth. He presumed God’s favour and was immune from correction. Though he felt accomplished in his spiritual life, this sense of well-being was unfortunately an illusion—the fabrication of his own imagination—and not a true consolation from God.

The tax collector, humble and contrite, could not even imagine himself in relationship to heaven. He felt alienated from God. It was all he could do to muster the faith to set foot in His house. “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God.”

How important are our own judgments of our spiritual state? Jesus teaches us to be wary of self-justification. You can’t always judge where you’re at with God simply by how you feel. This is the paradox of heaven.

Every valley shall be raised up,
every mountain and hill made low;
the rough ground shall become level,
the rugged places a plain.

Isaiah 40:4

Questions:

How much do you depend on your feelings to assess your own status with God? How can these deceive us?
Imagine yourself as the Pharisee, confident of his standing with God, but wrong. Then imagine yourself as the tax collector, who also assumes a wrong status with God. Is it difficult for you to accept that, unless God reveals it to you, you don’t really how you stand?
What disposition can we walk in that would avoid the two errors or self-justification or self-condemnation?

Prayer: “As God judges us, so we are.” Considering this fact, ask the Lord to help you remain as a child with regards to second-guessing God’s judgment. Pray for a spirit of peace in the midst of not knowing.

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25. “The Place Where We Meet”

Love and faithfulness meet together;

righteousness and peace kiss each other.

Faithfulness springs forth from the earth,

and righteousness looks down from heaven.

Psalm 85:10-11

Psalm 85 offers a beautiful image of the intimacy of spiritual relationship that is possible between ourselves and the Lord. We see that our spiritual life is not a matter of propelling ourselves willfully towards God. Nor is the objective to passively wait for the Lord to channel His spirit through us. The psalmist tells us plainly that the ideal of spiritual life is a “meeting together” of two wills, joined in the beautiful freedom of an embrace. These two wills are personified as love and faithfulness. Like good lovers, they always meet each other half-way.

In these verses, God is also identified as righteousness. As we embrace righteousness, the result is peace. The psalmist likens it to a kiss—the gentle, intimacy of lovers. It is an expression, at its exquisite best, of two parties, each acting freely, as both giver and receiver.

We are told that this spiritual embrace is a longed-for event that is anticipated by heaven. Righteousness, looking down, searches for evidence of faithfulness springing forth, as God, like a father, runs to embrace His approaching son or daughter. What a joy it is that our faithfulness causes such delight in God.

Questions:

What are some examples that you recognize in your own life where “faithfulness springs forth” to meet God’s love?

In what ways are you and God both givers and receivers?

How do you “embrace” righteousness? What delight comes to your heart as you imagine God searching and finding evidence of faithfulness in your life?

Prayer: Speak to our Father about your desire to bring delight to God’s heart. Offer your faithfulness as a “meeting place” for God’s love to be with you. Give thanks for such a tender relationship that is yours to enjoy.

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26. “Trying to See in the Dark”

My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world.

John 17:15-19

Most spiritually-minded people living in the city are probably like me—a bit of a hybrid. There’s a part of me that is deeply rooted in a timeless spirituality, while another part seems so much a product of this world. Being an enigma is one of the hazards of trying to live the spiritual life with a foot in two worlds. It splits you down the middle if you forget which side you come from.

As we read Jesus’ words we are reminded once again of the mystery of our new origin. He sees us as in the world, but not of it. We come from somewhere else. It would make sense that only those who are “not of the world” can ever be “sent” to it. But it’s a real challenge to keep that distinction in focus.

Let’s not underestimate the forces that work against living a spiritual life in the city. Far easier to be in a monastery, on a retreat, or alone in the middle of creation. One of the reasons the early monks set out to live in the desert was to flee the confusion of the city. If the cities of the third century were too distracting for their spiritual focus what would they would make of our present-day treadmill?

Our contemporary life places unique demands on us, most of which have little to do with our spiritual needs. The way we plan our day, the environment in which we raise our children, the things we do in order to stay afloat in the city, all call for a different application of life than any of us would likely choose for ourselves. And the result is that we often feel disoriented, with a particular weariness that quenches our spiritual vitality. It can feel like you’re only holding onto faith by a thread.

Being in the world is certainly a challenge. But this is where we belong, even if it goes against the grain of being a spiritual person. The Lord has placed us here, in a world where His light is easily obscured. And for the sake of those around us it’s important that we learn how to keep our torches lit.

How do we do this? How do we remain credible as spiritual men and women? What boundaries are needed between us and the seemingly endless demands of contemporary life? What type of rule do we need in our lives to ensure that we are not being tossed to and fro by every wave of life-option?

Even in their times, Augustine, Benedict, Bernard and Francis recognized the necessity of having a “rule of life” in order to remain rooted in God. Whether living the cloistered life, or that of a free mendicant, a rule of life was seen as essential to prevent waywardness or dissipation of the soul. What about us? What would such a rule of life look like? What template would you provide for your day, your week or your year that would ensure you don’t stray from your spiritual calling and formation?

These are important questions to ask ourselves. As a community of faith committed to spiritual growth we need to consider our way of life in order to remain fruitful in our goals—to protect God’s investment in us, and to ensure our faithful response to the things He has already shown us.

The world needs contemplatives deep within the fabric of its cities, not only on the outskirts of its walls. It is the Lord who has called us here, and there is surely special grace given to those who pursue God in the confusion of urban life. Let us learn to do this well. And let us be careful to not lose the distinction between being in the world, and of it. This was Jesus’ prayer for us.

The world is now in dire need of a living witness of faith issuing from a soul that has a true relationship with God. Such a witness out-weighs and outshines a thousand books on doctrine, faith, or prayer.

—Matthew the Poor

Questions:

What are some of the constraints you feel living a spiritual life while also trying to meet the demands of this world? How do these demands disorient you from God? What spiritual life would you imagine for yourself if you had no other restrictions?
How has our new birth, in a sense, “ruined” us for this world? How do you see yourself sent to this world as though from some other vantage point?
What helps you to keep your own torch lit in an environment that always threatens to extinguish it? How would you define your own “rule of life” at present? What adjustments in your life would be needed to help you maintain your “spiritual identity?”

Prayer: Ask the Lord to make clear to you the boundaries that you should keep with the world. Ask for wisdom and grace in the ways you love this world so that you can enjoy the temporal life without losing yourself in it.

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27. “Knowing When You Need Help”

. . . He restores my soul.

Psalm 23:3

A farmer can’t make a plant increase in size any more than a mother can cause her baby to grow. But both can contribute to an environment where growth is likely. Progress in the spiritual life, as well, is natural when an environment conducive for growth is present. There is no need to push forward in your faith, nor to pull yourself up by the bootstraps if you are in a healthy state of soul. Growth comes as naturally then as it does for a healthy baby.

The call to prayer is a God-given invitation for our souls to come and be restored to a condition that is optimum for spiritual growth. We experience the greatest sense of joy and fulfillment when we are in such a state of health. But there are many times in life when we are not thriving as we could. In the course of our days and weeks, our souls sometimes become ill, contaminated by deception, disappointment or fear. We lose our appetites, or we feel spiritually nauseous from something unhealthy that our hearts have ingested. Like all things in life, our spiritual health frequently needs to be restored before growth can continue.

One of the best prescriptions for someone who is ill is to simply rest—to allow the body time to re-gather its strength. For some sicknesses, fasting is also a natural remedy. The body instinctively knows that it doesn’t want to eat, but needs to focus its energies on what ails. The inclination to withdraw and to sequester, which is so natural to the body, is also an instinct of the soul. Whenever it is in need of healing, our soul naturally desires to withdraw to a quiet place where it will not be taxed by any concerns other than its own restoration. We have all felt the need for such remedy at times.

To come to God often for the restoration of our spirits is simply good health care. It keeps us fresh, and in the optimum state for continuing growth. To recognize when you are ailing, and to be wise in doing something about it, will automatically bear good fruit in your life. As we are attentive to keeping our spirits restored, the progress of our souls will be the natural outcome.

Questions:

What environments have you found to be ideal for your own spiritual growth? How would you describe your state of soul when you are thriving in these environments?

What are some of the signs that tell you that your soul needs restoration? What, if anything, do you usually do about this?

How can you give your soul time and space to catch up with itself?

Prayer: Ask the Lord to make the care and maintenance of your soul a priority in your life. Ask for an obedient spirit so that when you hear Jesus say, “Come away with me,” you will not hesitate to respond. Thank the Lord that restoration, in time, is so easily available to us as we seek it.

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28. “Beholding the Glory of God”

Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of Hosts. The whole earth is full of your glory

Isaiah 6:3

These are the words Isaiah heard being prayed before the throne of God. It is a prayer recognizing that all of creation is filled with God’s glorious Presence. And it is to the praise of this truth that a growing spiritual life inevitably leads us. With eyes wide-opened to the face of God, the automatic response of our souls will one day be in awe at the evidence of the Lord’s Presence, reflected in everything we see. The veil will be lifted. We will recognize the glory that has previously been hidden from view. And hearts, made pure by the grace of Christ, will see God as He is. This is the inevitable destination of our long spiritual journey. It’s good to keep this in mind in the context of our day-to-day lives.

Most of our pursuit of God is naturally rooted in our temporal concerns. Where am I going? What should I do? How do I get this, or avoid that in my life? But even on earth, people who practice prayer notice a significant shift in focus that matures in them. The ultimate question changes from ‘where is God in my life?’ to ‘where am I in God’s life?’ It is this shift in emphasis that prepares us for the glory of eternal prayer.

Matthew the Poor writes in his Orthodox Prayer Life,

If we restrict prayer to the satisfaction of our needs and demands, or to responding to our pleas in this life, it loses its essential greatness. Through hallowing the name of God, paying homage to him, thanking and honouring him with pure praise, a person is transformed into a spiritual being. They thus join the heavenly host in their transcendent ministry.

Referring to this Isaiah passage he adds, “in its truest essence, prayer is a communion with the heavenly host in praising their Creator.”

God certainly invites us to seek and find Him in our day-to-day experience. Signs of His participation in our lives are necessary assurances in our pilgrimage. But ultimately, it is the act of recognizing eternity in this life that joins us to heaven’s praise. Every time our hearts are lifted in recognition of God’s Presence we participate with the song sung by the already existing choirs of heaven. Some day soon we too will join them in full awareness of the Lord’s majesty. We will be captivated by the beauty and glory of God that fills heaven and earth. And with senses wide-opened, our souls will respond with the only words appropriate to such an experience: “Holy, holy, holy….”

Questions:

Can you imagine the day when “we will recognize the glory of God that has previously been hidden from view?” How would you describe the feelings that your heart experiences in imagining this?

How do you relate to Matthew the Poor’s suggestion that the recognition of God in praise is what ultimately makes us a “spiritual being?”

How might we keep this vision of the spiritual life in mind as we live our day-to-day lives?

Prayer: Consider the praise that God enjoys from those who recognize the Lord’s hand in all things. Ask the Holy Spirit to open your heart and eyes so that you can join the chorus of those who recognize God in all things.

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29. “I Am With You”

So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt.” But Moses said to God, “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” And God said, “I will be with you.

Exodus 3:10-12

On the occasion of his conversion, it is said that St. Francis of Assisi wrestled all night in prayer with two simple questions: “who am I,” and “who are You?” The answer he received to these questions dramatically altered his perspective and caused him to fearlessly commit the rest of his life to the God to whom he had prayed.

Moses as well, asks an important “who am I” question. The Lord has called him to a task and Moses’ immediate response is one of questioning the wisdom of God’s choice. There is an apparent disagreement between God and Moses as to who Moses really is. But the Lord’s answer to Moses’ question is an unexpected one.

If someone came to me with self-doubt my immediate response might be to assume they needed affirmation. I would consider ways to bolster their confidence with regards to the task ahead. But God takes a different tack with Moses. To the question “who am I?,” the Lord responds with an oblique statement that seems to bypass Moses’ query. “I will be with you.”

How often do we feel similar self-doubts in our lives? Who am I that I should be in such a ministry? Who am I that I should presume the love of my brothers and sisters? Who am I to think that God has purpose for me? There are many ways that we could go about assuring ourselves, or one another, in the face of such doubts. You can do it. You’ve got what it takes. It’ll all work out somehow. But God’s word to us here seems quite different from the usual assurances we think we need. He simply states a fact of life that is meant to overarch all our doubts and fears: “I am with you.” This, the Lord assumes, is all the information we need to muster the courage to obey.

It is good to consider in our own lives how God’s assurance that “I am with you” represents the answer to all our “who am I?” questions. The Lord seems to think that this reply should be sufficient for our needs—that it will make a world of difference to your identity, your vocation, your future, your past, to be simply reminded that He is surely with you.

Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

Matthew 28:20

Questions:

What type of affirmations do you feel you still need from God before you can be who you are, or do what you feel God has called you to do?
How does God’s assurance of walking with you in all aspects of your life make a difference to the questions you have regarding your identity? Your vocation? Your future? Your past?
Is this sufficient enough information to give you the “courage to obey?” If not, why?

Prayer: Confess the areas in your life where you feel hesitant in your response to the Lord. Ask God for a deep understanding of your fears and for faith to believe that the Lord’s presence in your life is sufficient to counter these.

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